i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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