so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
