You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
