Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
