actually, I'm a sock model
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
