I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
