Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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