bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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