We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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