thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
