I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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