I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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