Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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