I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
