either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm at about main and main street
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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