Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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