Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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