so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
