I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize