GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
