So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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