he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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