The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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