i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
