fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
