I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
