just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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