wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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