Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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