I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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