he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
