I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So vagazzling was a success
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
