Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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