sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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