I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
