last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
