Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
