Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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