I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
