If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In other news, I just burned my penis
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
