I think I died a long time ago.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
