i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
