yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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