Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
