you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
