Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
