Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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