Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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