Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
