Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Bring me that man meat
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And then he peed in my hair
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