He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Randomize
