So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
How naked do you want me to be?
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