I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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