i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
