i think my tv is drunk
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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