I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
