brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
