Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All the doctor said was why
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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