after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
