Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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