i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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