it hurts more in the daytime
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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