I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
did i walk over a car last night?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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